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Rev. Marti Zimmerman Rev. Dan Odell Rev. Mack Lovvorn
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Friends and Family : Ruth
[ Prayer]
Ruth and Naomi didn’t start out as friends, they started out family. Our story begins with Naomi and her husband.
Facing sudden drought and the starvation of their family, they leave the little town of Bethlehem, which literally means house of bread. But the bread basket was empty. That’s a bit like chocolate lovers moving out of Hersey, PA because there is no more candy. Husband, wife and 2 little boys migrate. Rumor had it, there was food and work in Moab. Moab? Not a mountain bike paradise in Utah, but in those days, it would be more like hungry Americans migrating to Iran or North Korea in search of food. Still they found a place and the two boys grew up and even married Moabite women. The new home now seemed permanent. But disaster struck again. Naomi’s husband, then her two sons, die. Her Social Security, her old age comfort and financial support, disappear into the grave. The men are gone leaving no offspring, no hope, no future. Weeping, Naomi prepares to leaves her adopted land and head back to the home place, trusting, as Robert Frost’s poem says, “Home is the place where when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Naomi can head home because she knows her people and their faith. Moses, on behalf of God, requires “At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year's produce and store it in your towns, 29 so that the Levites (i.e. the pastors who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.” Somehow Naomi trusts the community will care for her, a widow, but though the scripture demands care for the alien, Naomi can’t imagine a future for her daughter-in-laws, foreigners, whose accents and different faith will leave them open to ridicule and harm. They will be seen as a burden to the community. “Go home” she tells them. As Naomi returns home she sees life as threatening. She complains that God has forgotten her. I imagine that she even blames God for stealing her happiness.“What did I do that you took my husband and sons?” In her grief she worries mostly about herself, believing that she’ll be better off alone. Paul Simon sang her song, “I am a rock, I am an island… And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.” Orphah heads home, but Ruth refuses. Repeat after me her words. “Where you go I will go, …. Ruth, a young widow without the blessings of a long life, a long marriage or even children, has, like Naomi, lost her security and comfort too. (Creating a Healthier Church: Family Systems Theory, Leadership, and Congregational Life. Ronald Richardson) And her choice, makes new life and hope possible. Can you remember a time when a family member, maybe even you, acted as if they are an island. “Leave me alone, ” cries a teen-ager. A older parent’s illness requires support from those adult children attempting to care, some close by, others at a distance, even while they cart children to music lessons and maintain full-time jobs. Family by definition- implies relationships. Relationships impact one another like bumper cars. A bad day at the office leads to a bad night at home. Stress in a marriage impacts the kids at school. We live in emotional systems. But with Ruth as our spiritual guide, we can choose a better way to respond. In the midst of family crisis, Ruth offered leadership. Faced with her own plate of woes and worries, she didn’t blame God or her mother-in-law, she didn’t accuse, she didn’t gossip or whine, she didn’t just react to the crisis they faced. Instead she choose to offer words and deeds of connection and responsibility. “Where you go, I will go. No one was attacked, no one was the black sheep or the problem, no one was put down. Ruth, new to serving the God Yahweh, simply took responsibility for her own actions.Her choice allowed --maybe even forced--Naomi to see new possibilities and live in hope. Ruth moved from family to friend. Who in your family, a mother, cousin, sister, uncle, in-law, or spouse, is also a friend? Anyway, what is a friend? Friend -The word implies trust and mutual affection. An acquaintance is casual or maybe business, but a friend is dependable, non-judgmental, supportive. When the hard times hit, when faced with the droughts and deaths of our lives, friends choose, to be more rational and thoughtfullike Ruth. It is those qualities of emotional balance that help us walk through the valleys of despair. Friends are like the three women at the cross How does family to become friends? Our story and our Lenten series invites us to be a friend. The first step in building a friend relationship with a relative, is the willingness to be connected. Naomi, feeling supported not attacked, used their faith tradition of widows gleaning the fields, which lead to a male relative buying her son’s inherited lands. Many daughter-in-laws feel judged, but Ruth didn’tso she could listen to her mother-in-law’s advice, adapt it for herself leading to Boaz’s proposal, a marriage, the child Obed who according to the begats in Matthew, was the father of Jesse, the father of David , who leads us to Jesus. Jesus, a legacy of Ruth’s promise to Naomi. Friends and family are both important in our faith walk. But in Mathew 12:48-50 when Jesus was asked during his ministry on earth, (The Message) “Jesus didn't respond directly, but said, "Who do you think my mother and brothers are?" He then stretched out his hand toward his disciples. "Look closely. These are my mother and brothers. Obedience is thicker than blood.The person who obeys my heavenly Father's will is my brother and sister and mother." This is my command: Friends promise Jesus connection, like Ruth did Naomi.Friends, are willing to go where you go, willing to share burdens of life, listen. Friends, especially those who are relatives too, choose to maintain connection, emotional balance, in the midst of crisis. Naomi, grudgingly accepted the companionship of Ruth. That’s often how family friendship starts. But because of Ruth’s emotional balance, together they worked through a difficult situation. Ruth’s willingness to connect over the long haul throws out a life-boat of hope to Naomi. Jesus offers that kind of balance. He can throw a life-boat of hope allowing you to bite your tongue when tired and wounded by family. Secondly, let one of your kin someone struggling with death or despair (sing) "Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long, 'til I'm going to need somebody to lean on." Irish Blessing May there always be work for your hands to do, "I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." "You were the one who made things different, you were the one who took me in. You were the one thing I could count on, above all, you were my friend." "When I'm with you I feel like I could die and that would be alright, alright."
"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"- Proverbs 17:17 ""Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shall drink it with pleasure." Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers."
"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship." "A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his hand round your shoulder - watch out!" "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." "My friends are my estate. Forgive me then the avarice to hoard them. They tell me those who were poor early have different views of gold. I don't know how that is. God is not so wary as we, else He would give us no friends, lest we forget Him." "The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them." "A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope." ""A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure." "Cherish your friend, keep faith in him" "Those who live in the Lord never see each other for the last time." They start out relatives, family by marriage, but they end up friends. Why? [ Back ]
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